Musings of a dad with too much time on his hands and not enough to do. Wait. Reverse that.

Tag: parenting (Page 5 of 14)

How are you doing?

Chances are, most days you’re asked this question at least once if not dozens of times. The majority of the time, though, the questioner doesn’t really care about your response. This statement is simply another form of hello; unfortunately, since it is in the form of a query, the recipient feels compelled to respond.

Are you merely average?

The average, even expected, response to this question is to simply utter “good” or “o.k.” I say phooey on that! Buck the system! Be different! Stand out!

As a social experiment, you could reply with something like “I’m horrible!” or “I’m having a rotten day!” and test the sincerity of your inquisitor, but I say do the opposite: provide an over-the-top positive response.

Even if you’re not feeling splendiferous, saying that your are can be beneficial:

  • It can help you stand out in the eyes of your questioner, which can be important in work and social situations.
  • it can paint you as a generally positive or go-to type person in the minds of your associates–again, a good quality to be ascribed.
  • it can help improve your vocabulary as you look for new and interesting words to describe your effervescence, and
  • you might just start believing that you truly are exuberant if you say it enough times. (And who doesn’t want to be exuberant as much as possible?)

So, the next time someone asks you “how’re you doing?” try replying with one of these (with bonus points for three or more syllables):

  • awesome
  • bombastic
  • buoyant
  • canny
  • cheerful
  • competent
  • dynamite
  • excellent
  • excited
  • fabulous
  • fantastic
  • great
  • ineffable
  • jolly
  • jovial
  • jubilant
  • magnificent
  • phenomenal
  • resilient
  • rhapsodic
  • salubrious
  • sanguine
  • smashing
  • spectacular
  • stupendous
  • terrific
  • tremendous

Teaching the kid to drive

I’m now on to teaching my second child to drive. Here are some thoughts I’ve accumulated over the time that might be of some assistance to you novice parent instructors out there:

Review the car mechanics

Your child should obviously know the gas pedal from the brake, but don’t forget all the other knobs and switches that we know by heart but your child doesn’t. Gear shift, turn signals, headlights, bright lights, windshield wipers/fluid, parking brake, hazard lights…make sure to review all these features and how to activate them. As an advanced topic, I show my child how to halfway hold the turn signal arm up or down–thus, engaging the turn signal but not locking the arm in place, which can be handy for short-duration signaling like changing lanes.

Your safety radar

I try to get my kids to imagine they’re detectives or air traffic controllers. They need to be looking all around them, looking for new threats, obstacles, and other information appearing on their radars; they should be looking for clues to let them know how these objects might cause safety concerns. Is a given car in the vicinity driving erratically, not using turn signals, or otherwise providing evidence of potential danger? Add that car to your radar and keep an eye in it–and some distance. Are there children nearby that have the potential of running in front of you? Add them to your radar and take caution.

The first lesson: the parking lot

It’s probably a no-brainer, but my first lesson with the kids is in a large, unpopulated parking lot. In fact, the first several lessons will be in said parking lot. I have them drive in circles, clockwise and counter-clockwise. Several lessons in, I will start having them drive in reverse–maybe even doing a full circle or two in reverse. Of course, I also have the kids practice parking: both nose-first and rear-first. In every lesson, I insist we pretend that the parking lot is full and my young driver is not allowed to hit any imaginary car.

Residential Driving

Lazy suburbs are ideal starting points for getting your child on a real road. Hopefully, your chosen suburb has limited cars parked on the side of the roads. Initially, you may want to target early mornings or evenings to limit pedestrian traffic, as well. One alternative to the suburb is to practice on the access roads of a medium-sized cemetery.

U.S. Routes and State Highways

Once my child seems comfortable driving on the suburbs and local roads, we graduate to the nearby U.S. route. U.S. routes are a fantastic resource for beginner drivers. They traverse a variety of driving conditions: small town driving at 25-35 mph, mid-town driving at 40-45 mph, and even highway driving at 60+ mph. State routes have stop sign intersections, stoplights, railroad crossings, and multi-lane roadways. They’re also great to log lots of drive-time hours. Often, the kid and I will get up early on a Saturday or Sunday, drive two hours out then turn around and come back home.

Interstate Highway Driving

Interstate highway driving is almost like a final exam for my kids. Things get real on the highways. Obviously, the less traffic the better when starting out on a highway, so early mornings and even the weekday gaps between rush hours seem to work well. Here’s one technique I heard of recently that I may incorporate in my future lessons: drive to a convenient beltway, then proceed to take the exit. From the exit, work your way over to the closest entrance ramp to get right back on the beltway. Rinse and repeat at every exit until you’ve made your way around the entire highway. That’s sure to train your child up on highway exits and entrances.

Nighttime Driving

Repeat all the above, but this time, at night.

Odds and Ends

Don’t forget some of these other aspects of driving:

  • Gassing up the car (or charging, as the case may be)
  • Parking in full parking lots
  • Drive-up ATMs and fast food drive-throughs
  • What to do if you have an accident or other emergency
  • How to read your dashboard and where to look for errors and warnings
  • How to listen to the sound of the car under normal operating conditions and how that sound might change if the car is malfunctioning
  • Parallel parking?!

So, those are a few of the items I work through with my children as I teach them to drive. Any ideas I missed? Feel free to add them in the comments!

Graduation Songs

Now that the hustle of the graduation season is dying down, I’m trying to write up a few notes that might save the rest of you some time planning around such momentous times in your family. One note is on different songs I’ve chosen in the past to help celebrate my kids’ academic accomplishments. Here is my list of favorite graduation songs, but unlike a lot of the other lists out there, I’m going 80s and 90s old school with this one:

School’s Out – Alice Cooper

I remember singing this song with my friends on the bus as it carted me home on many last days of school. Given all the security tensions around schools these days, though, you may be better off skipping this one or relegating it to background music.

Time After Time – Cyndi Lauper

A big song from my youth, although I much preferred her Goonies song over this one.

Forever – Kenny Loggins

Sure, Forever seems to be primarily a love song, but with lines like, “even when I’m gone, you’ll be here with me,” you can’t help noting that, after years of forging friendships, your graduate will be leaving those friends for new experiences and likely only taking fond memories with him.

Don’t You Forget About Me – Simple Minds

It’s interesting how my kids have picked up on certain notables of my youth including the movie The Breakfast Club. The movie and soundtrack were big back in the day and this song has certainly held up well.

The Future’s So Bright, I Got to Wear Shades – Timbuk 3

I suspect this song’s a subtly cynical observation on the future of humanity, but on it’s surface, it’s a fun song about reaping the benefits of your hard work.

Friends – Michael W. Smith

Holding with the theme that even though your new phase in life might have you moving far away from your friends, you’ll always take your friends with you in your heart. A big hit in Christian youth groups everywhere back in the day.

The Time of My Life – Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes

Part of the soundtrack of the smash movie Dirty Dancing, The Time of My Life, like a true graduation song, stops to appreciate that these last few moments–days, months, years?–have been fantastic experiences for the singer and it’s all because of the person(s) that he surrounded himself with.

I Will Remember You – Amy Grant

I find the opening verse of this song particularly touching:

I will be walking one day
Down a street far away
And see a face in the crowd and smile
Knowing how you made me laugh
Hearing sweet echoes of you from the past
I will remember you.

These Are The Days – 10,000 Maniacs

Underneath, this song seems to celebrate the process of youth maturing in their sexuality. On the surface, it’s just a fun song asking its listeners to appreciate the present moment.

I Will Remember You – Sarah McLachlan

Two years after Amy Grant’s I Will Remember You, Sarah McLachlan came out with another song of the same title hitting on that same theme of friends who find their lives diverging from one another.

Good Riddance – Green Day

Taking a substantial departure from their punk inclinations, Green Day came out with this acoustic ballad in 1997 to help graduates–and likely all others embarking on major life changes–take stock and appreciate the good events in their pasts as they head out on new and separate paths.

Graduation – Vitamin C

This is probably the quintessential graduation song and should definitely be in your playlist for such events. It even borrows from Pachelbel’s Canon, a piece commonly played at graduations today.

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