Chances are, most days you’re asked this question at least once if not dozens of times. The majority of the time, though, the questioner doesn’t really care about your response. This statement is simply another form of hello; unfortunately, since it is in the form of a query, the recipient feels compelled to respond.
Are you merely average?
The average, even expected, response to this question is to simply utter “good” or “o.k.” I say phooey on that! Buck the system! Be different! Stand out!
As a social experiment, you could reply with something like “I’m horrible!” or “I’m having a rotten day!” and test the sincerity of your inquisitor, but I say do the opposite: provide an over-the-top positive response.
Even if you’re not feeling splendiferous, saying that your are can be beneficial:
It can help you stand out in the eyes of your questioner, which can be important in work and social situations.
it can paint you as a generally positive or go-to type person in the minds of your associates–again, a good quality to be ascribed.
it can help improve your vocabulary as you look for new and interesting words to describe your effervescence, and
you might just start believing that you truly are exuberant if you say it enough times. (And who doesn’t want to be exuberant as much as possible?)
So, the next time someone asks you “how’re you doing?” try replying with one of these (with bonus points for three or more syllables):
On a recent episode of .NET Rocks, hosts Carl and Richard along with guest Julie Lerman have an interesting discussion–right at the beginning of the episode–on how important it is these days to normalize the table structures in your relational databases.
Richard goes so far as to suggest it might be an “obsolete concept.” That it is more important to persist “the truth at the time.”
“I was taught Third Normal Form decades ago by C.J. Date…and so it’s been a real struggle to say it’s my instinct and I think it’s wrong!”
Richard Campbell, 14 November 2019
Personally, I’ve felt a little guilty contemplating denormalized database solutions to solve my problems on different occasions. It’s certainly a relief to know that a) I’m not alone and b) denormalized solutions might be more the norm than the exception.
It seems like half the email I receive at work ends with some variation of:
“Please let me know if you have any questions.”
Often, I’m tempted to reply with some snarky, off-topic question. I refrain, but if I did reply, it’d be a query with a subtle allusion to pop culture, with bonus points for a 70s or 80s reference. The canonical example is from the masterpiece Monty Python and the Holy Grail:
“What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?”
Aside from this classic, here is my list of other nonsensical questions carefully culled from pop culture:
After speculating on the fitness of African and European swallows, questioning the meaning of our existence is probably the next great question truly showcasing your wit in the workplace. Although, this one’s a bit trite by now. Let’s see if we can do better.
The leader of a group of bank robbers goes into lengthy details about how they will perpetrate their crime without leaving evidence. At the end of the explanation, when the leader asks if anyone has any questions, dimwitted Otto pipes in with this pearl.
When it comes to stewed prunes, are three enough? Four too many? (Fletch, 1985)
During a voice-over, investigative reporter Irwin Fletcher lists out all the questions of his investigation that are still troubling him. He ends his list with this gem.
What would you say you do here? (Office Space, 1999)
A must-see for any office worker, one of the sub-plots of the comedy pits the employees of Initech against two efficiency consultants, looking to trim the company payroll in order to boost company profits. In one hilarious exchange, the consultants do seem to uncover a truly ineffectual employee and cut to the chase with this question.
The archetype of dystopian cinema, the Mad Max movies were full of violence, despair, and questions of authority.
¿Donde está la biblioteca, Pedro? (Dodgeball, 2004)
The villain, White Goodman, is expanding his chain of fitness centers to Mexico and must now brush up on his Spanish. It is always important to know where your local library is.
In the same vein as Office Space–let’s call these Work Dystopian cinema–Joe Versus the Volcano is the story of a man mired in mediocrity longing to do something extraordinary. In one scene, the audience gets to listen in on Joe’s boss, Mr. Waturi, having an absolutely inane phone conversation with another manager. If only I had a dollar for every similar conversation I’ve been part of over the course of my career.
What Can You Get a Wookiee for Christmas (When He Already Owns a Comb)? (Star Wars Christmas Album, 1980)
I guess they do celebrate Christmas in a galaxy far, far away or else droids wouldn’t struggle with such serious, gift-giving quandaries.
Do you know where the weight room is? (Tommy Boy, 1995)
Ok, I probably shouldn’t end this post with this question. Maybe I should have went with my first choice: Dude, where’s my car? (A fantastic film in its own right.) But, I’ll throw caution to the wind and finish with this one. Whatever you do, though: don’t look in the box!
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