Tag: parenting (Page 2 of 14)

I now have two children in college at two different universities and, interestingly, both have had regretful experiences with particular classes they attended. I thought I’d take this opportunity to write up some lessons learned from these events.

Be leery of faculty recommendations

In both circumstances, my children enrolled in their respective poor classes from the encouragement and recommendation of college faculty. In one case, my child received an email suggesting that her writing skills made her a great candidate for this honors course. In the other, my child was pursued by the actual professor saying how much of an asset she would be to the class.

I’m sure there are many great opportunities at college that the student only learns about through recommendation and direct communication with faculty. In this case, though, I wonder if the faculty already knew these particular classes were duds and yet employed all sorts of subterfuge to get suckers to enroll. Unfortunately, we suckers fell for it.

Research the professor

One blessing of the Internet is the ability to research the reputation of professors before you attend their classes so you can hopefully avoid the bad ones–and there do seem to be a lot of bad ones out there.

Talk to your advisor

My guess is my children’s advisors were already well aware of the poor reputations of the professors in question. If only they had asked the appropriate questions, they might have avoided these disastrous courses. Here are a few you might ask:

• What sort of insight do you have on the reputation of this professor?
• What teaching style does he have?
• What grading style does he have?
• How long has he been with the school? Does he have tenure?
• Have there been any formal complaints made against him? Is there a database available where I can see those complaints?
• Do you know other students who have taken his course? How can I get in touch with them to ask their opinions?

Ask other classmates

Does your child know of anyone else enrolling in the course in question? If so, she should seek those individuals out and see what sort of research they have performed on the course and professor.

Find upperclassmen familiar with the course and professor

Often the best advice comes from those who went before you. Search out for students who already took the course and/or studied under the particular professor and learn their opinions.

What’s the Return on Investment?

Sadly, neither of children really needed to enroll in these particular horrible courses. One enrolled in an “honors” course when the “general” version would have sufficed and the other simply enrolled as a favor to the professor who pleaded with her. Neither course was even that critical to the majors they’re pursuing. Thus, the ROI for these was either small or non-existent and probably merited reconsideration.

Review the course syllabus before committing

If possible, try to get a copy of the course syllabus and grading structure ahead of time. Try to determine the level of subjectivity in the grading structure. If the professor seems to place a large emphasis on class participation and you know you lean toward being introverted, maybe that’s a red flag. One professor literally graded assignments with checks, check-pluses, and check-minuses. That might be great for Third Grade, but college? What grade point value does a “check” equate to? Unfortunately, this grading scale was not specified in the syllabus, but if it were, I would consider that a huge warning sign.

Be leery of courses with several group projects

My children take their academics seriously and have several stories of having to do most of the work on group projects when they have been paired with less serious students. Indeed, it was a group project and unsavory teammates that imperiled the grade of one of my children. Thus, factor in to your enrollment decision the amount of group projects that might be involved.

Actively manage the professor

If your child finds herself enrolled in one of these hostile courses I am trying to describe, encourage her to actively manage her professor. My guess is that these sorts of professors get (and probably deserve) no respect in the other parts of their lives so they hold their students hostage demanding subservience for a good grade. Sadly, most of us have bosses and managers who behave similarly.

Stroke the professor’s ego. If the professor says he has available office hours to meet, meet with him. If the professor demands more class participation, ask questions even if you already know the answers. If the professor provides an opportunity to correct and resubmit graded work for an improved grade, do it. Your parents must do the same things to get that deserved bonus or promotion and you’re getting an early glimpse of what’s to come. Welcome to the real world.

Provide feedback, when it’s safe

“Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.”

Dante

Regardless of outcome, once you’re beyond the reach of the professor, do what you can to warn others behind you. There are probably a few places where you can post your admonitions.

My straight A children were given Bs by their sub-par professors despite A-level performance. Both fought for better, but only one prevailed. Universities have formal processes to contest grades, but like contesting government overreach, the proceedings can be long and arduous.

Tis that time of year when the doorbell rings a little more often marking delivery of item after item your child must possess to make her college experience even more positive. But after you’ve amassed a whole bunch of new paraphernalia–some of which she’ll likely never use–how do you pack your child’s gear together, load your vehicles, and move in those items to her new home-away-from-home as optimally as possible? Well, after a few of these such moves, here are some tips and tricks I’ve come up with to try to make the move-in experience as comfortable as possible.

Box up the gear

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It may go without saying, but the more loose items you can box up, the better. I have found 18 gallon storage bins quite helpful because they’re easy to carry and stack up well. Ikea–and I’m sure others–sell handy bags with straps that do well to keep together your lighter items.

Bundle your clothes together

Most of your child’s clothes can be folded and boxed in some fashion, but your child will likely attend a few formal gatherings in her time at school and will want to bring more formal attire on hangers such as suits and dresses. For these, I like to group, say, 7-8 items together in dry cleaning bags. If you don’t have a handy supply of those bags, garbage bags work well as a substitute. Rubberband the hangers together and you can even put some duct tape over the tips to prevent the hangers from scratching your car or other possessions.

Label your items

Most schools will have some sort of welcoming team and some may even help you carry your gear to your room. As a precaution, you should label your bins, bags, and other items with masking tape and sharpie. Write the name of your child, her dorm, and her room number if you know it.

Bring a small dolly or cart

We have a couple of small dollies that easily fold up in the car and help to move your heavier items. I highly recommend bringing one along.

Tools

In my last move, I had to assemble two lamps, a TV stand, and a couple of storage shelves. My socket set and screw drivers made easy work of these. In the past, I’ve had to adjust the height of my kid’s bed frame that was well locked into place, but my hammer helped the adjustment. If you have even more components to assemble, you may consider bringing a charged, cordless drill, but, thankfully, I’ve yet to have to resort to that level of assembly. If you have plastic wrapped items, a knife or boxcutter will be a tool you’ll want available.

Bungees, door stops, etc.

You may need to prop open doors in your path. You’ll appreciate having a bungee cord or door stop on hand to wedge those open. Consider also including zip ties, duct tape, and even rope in your arsenal to help clear your path.

Assess the room

Most of the time, your child’s school will want you to fill out a move-in form where you note any damage to the room before you take possession of it. That way, you won’t have to pay for such damage when your child moves out. Either way, before you start hauling in your gear, take some time to survey the room and note any pre-existing damage. Taking pictures or video may even be advisable.

Don’t lose your key!

As soon as your child receives her dorm key, make sure she secures it: puts it on her keychain, lanyard, or secures it as she would her car keys or other similar items. Losing your key costs money and causes inconvenience. Ask me how I know!

Bring a change of clothes

August is usually a hot month no matter where you are in these United States. You’ll likely build up a nice “shine” carrying your child’s supplies to her room. Consider bringing a change of clothes to put on once the move is done.

Think about a time limit

After you’ve finished moving your child’s gear to her room, it will be time to unpack, organize, and decorate the room. You’ll certainly want to help her with all those tasks and absolutely should, but there will be a time let go and let her take charge of her own domicile. These moves can be emotionally tough for us parents and hard to walk away. It may help to establish some sort of time limit or milestone like an end-of-move meal to mark the time to leave your child and let her fly on her own.